.Brynlee Azevedo.

Releasing What Has Been Held In

2012-01-22T20:32:00.001-08:00

Today was so healthy but emotionally draining. Releasing pain that has been held in holds a whole other pain. I started speaking pain that was held in and felt pain from releasing it. The joys afterward were so great. I am trying to push into God. Focusing on an issue and trying to fix it won't fix it. Focusing on God to try to fix the issue makes you still focus on the issue. It doesn't solve anything. When you push into God, almost forgetting your issue, you allow God to change you; not just the issue. Not to say pain isn't present, but at least love is abundant. Push on, push in, and speak your pain away.

Grace & Peace

:Change:

2011-12-07T17:20:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to have it all together. I've had my life's plan since I was a little girl and I mean really little. I was stealing my mom's medical encyclopedias at about five years old trying to make sense of them. I knew I wanted to be a doctor. I knew that at age two. I swear this to you and my parents can testify from the long nights of screaming once "Rescue 911" with William Shatner ended for the night. I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to fix people. I wanted people to be okay and healthy and live. Even people I didn't know. I remember distinctively watching a St. Jude's special episode on TV with my mom. There was a girl on there about my age who looked healthy. She had some strange form of cancer they were trying to treat. The show finished with an update that she had later died from her cancer. I cried uncontrollably and my mom had no idea what was wrong. After I was composed enough to talk, I told my mom I was so upset because the girl could have been my friend but I wouldn't ever get the chance to know now that she was dead. I decided from that experience that I wanted to help children and be a pediatrician.

All throughout grade school and into Jr. High I worked as hard as I could to be able to go to medical school. I was a good student then. When high school came around I became more apparent of how I didn't fit in with everyone and lost focus on my long term goals. After being a loner for so long I tried to focus on "fitting in" for once. I put my grades aside for things I have hardly any memory of now. I just remember the feeling of failure at my first bad grade in a class. I knew I still wanted to be a doctor. After all, my dad told me numerous times that doctors made a lot of money and could afford nice things. I knew this was the right career for me. Little did I know my passion for helping people was being corrupted by a desire to make money. I changed.

So here I am today in banking. A new passion very different from medicine. Some days I love it and could see myself in it until I die. Days like today, however, make me reminisce on my past and wonder if I made the wrong choice. I saw where my heart turned in the past and wonder if I'll go back down the same path. Funny thing though, I handle more money in a month than most see in their life. I can promise you it's just paper. When looking at it everyday, I often forget its' value. It's just paper.

I don't believe I'll be in banking forever. Though banking gives me opportunities to satisfy my god-given desire to help people, I often feel it's not enough. I feel like I have shorted myself in my life and I am lacking in an ability to help people by my standards of what I want for my career.

By God's definition however, he speaks a much stronger truth. I am capable of all things. He has given me ability to pour into people more than I invest in myself.

-Although I struggle to see my purpose, I know that I will do great things anywhere I go desiring to pour into people like Daddy does.-

I can STILL accomplish great things. I believe my desire to pour into people will take me to places that I haven't even been. I see glimpses of what I believe God is taking me towards. I see the joys of pouring into things while waiting for God to provide. I remember my Daddy is faithful and that only brings me hope. I see how he is speaking truth to others and I have the blessing to be a part of it, to invest in them as God does. I have unlimited resources from Daddy to love them as he does. So wherever that may lead, I'll be there.

So what does all of this mean?

It means that even though I have no clue where my future leads, Daddy does.

A Million Miles In A Thousand Years

2009-12-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

We get robbed of the glory of life because we aren't capable of remembering how we got here. -Donald Miller

I recently read Donald Miller's latest book,A Million Miles In A Thousand Years. The book was absolutely amazing! I can't describe to you just how relevant the story was to our own stories in the making we call life. The central theme was how each person is given a script to write his/her own story. The choices and path you choose determine if it will be worth remembering, or simply fading with time.

If you have read "Blue Like Jazz," I highly recommend this book. If you haven't read either, then I encourage you to pick up one if not both of those books.

I leave with this.

-What is your story?

-What makes it worth living and reading?

Find these answers and let them begin to define your life.

-Grace and Peace.

Life in a Nutshell

2009-12-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, it has officially been quite a while since I last posted. I eventually deleted my last blog and started over.

Here are some pictures of the craziness!

Meet the newest member of the family! This is Aiko Yukiko Azevedo. Tyler named her and it translated roughly to "little lovely snow child" in Japanese. We call her Kiko for short.

The last two are from our wedding! It went by so quickly! And if you can believe it we close on our first home together on Monday the 21st of December and our first Christmas together a few days afterwards! We are so excited!

Look for more updates and pictures to come!